Congratulations on your BPS GSD. It’s great to get your first draft down on paper. Let’s jump in …
Your draft BPS is below and my comments in bold :
To: Busy moms in their 30-40s (is this age bracket essential?). Busy with family schedules and kid’s activities. Always serving others and never takes time for herself.
Ideal Client: NOTE: you are referring to an ideal client, vs talking about yourself here (even if this is you to a tee). So change the ‘we’ to ‘they’ or ‘she’. And remember ou are not selling your brand idea here, you are just describing the values and beliefs of these Busy and dedicated Moms. This will help you connect better to the BPS as the Brand Owner.
We have very busy lives. With the hustle and bustle of keeping all of life’s plates spinning, we need to take time to breathe in some joy. You know, stop and smell the roses. Between carpool, doctor’s appointments, kid’s sports, working in corporate America or from home, and getting a somewhat nutritious dinner on the table before 9 pm, we barely have any time for ourselves. Imagine the joy you would feel to walk into a room and smile as you gaze upon that special item you bought just for fun and just for that particular space. Think of that time when you were mindlessly stirring your soup and just wished there was a little color on the ladle that could make the monotony just a bit more exciting. If that sounds too far from your grasp, you have come to the right place! I really do like the visionary journey you took here to get this, now put this to one side and tighten up the detail to how your Busy Mom values her home/garden, beyond just a functional house. Is she dedicated to injecting fun or luxury home comforts for her or her family or does she like to enjoy her space with visitors? Does she see the garden as an extension of her home and loves escaping to the garden on a hot summers’s day with the kids and BBQ/patio drinks with friends and relax in her ‘outside home’?
JOY Decorated is the Home and Garden brand for busy moms who desire stylish, colorful, and eye-catching products to fill their lives with ease and charm without sacrificing quality. What does ‘fill their lives with ease’ mean?
At JOY Decorated we are committed to providing gadgets, tools, and all-around fun products that are high quality, innovative, and reasonably priced to help bring you joy inside and outside your home so that you can smile when you walk into any area of your home or garden. Capture the messages that would appeal to your audience to make them feel invested in your Brand concept – it sounds like the style and ‘feeling’ it creates is the lead here for JOY Decorated. Therefore consider switching it to convey JOY Decorated is committed to bringing a design smile into your home, inside and out, and will never compromise the highest quality or fun innovation? On a final tiny piece — Do busy mom’s buy gadgets? Gadgets tend to indicated fad-products.
Reason to Believe:
You can trust that our beautiful high-quality products will bring you joy for as long as you own them. Because we believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we believe everyone should enjoy the beauty of life that surrounds them. We only choose products that bring smiles to our faces and joy in our own homes. You can’t put a price on joy, but you can buy a little happiness to fill your heart and home. This is where let the customer know your journey and your inspiration for this brand. What detail can you put in here to suggest ‘Because we ARE xxxxxx and we know xxxx’
Choose JOY Decorated every time and decorate your life with JOY!
Does that help guide you on the second draft?